P - 309
Date - 03 NOV 23
Today I want to tell everyone
about myself
You all should know
what kind of
person I am and what I have done in my life.
As
a person, my life consists of how I've dealt with obstacles. Throughout
my life, I have run away from all difficulties I have faced. Whenever
any problem comes
to me the best
solution I think
of is running away from it. I always kept myself away from people and
never disclosed
myself in front of anyone. We
all have friends in our lives, but the friendship that lasts forever is the
friendship that we formed during our school life, but you will be surprised to
learn that I don't have any friends from my school life nor do I have any
friends from my college life. In short if I say I don’t have any friends.
You can imagine
that if I am not having friends
then how could I have a
special person in my life?
But I don’t know how a person came into my life and without any conditions
loved me and treated me like a princess which I have never
felt. I was
unable to cherish that person as well. I never valued his love.
He was always longing for
a priority which I was
unable to give him. I never made him feel special but still he loved
me. We always used to fight
each other because he was
asking for that special place in my life. We both were in love
with each other but we both were from different religions
so both of our parents did not accept our relationship. We both tried to
convince our parents but for him things were much more difficult as he was from
an Orthodox
family
but he tried
very hard to convince them. Our attempts failed.
He left his family for me not only that he left
everything for me and was
facing a lot of difficulties in his life. We both loved our parents
a lot but he was even ready to leave them for me. You all must be
thinking that I am very lucky, but when I felt his pain of
separation from his mother and the criticism that
he was facing because of me, I felt that the reason for all of this
was
me. I tried to convince my parents about
marrying him but they said they would
only accept our relationship if his family accepted
me. Which never happened and so again as my habit is to run away from difficulties again
I did the same.
Instead of supporting him and being with him I chose the other path
of life and asked him to leave me and be with his family. Even though he never
left hope on me he tried to convince me but I never understood him
and, in this way, the only special person I was
having in my life became separated from me.
I am a person who doesn't
know how to react to or handle different challenges of life and
I always panic instead of solving it.
I always run away from it. Despite
the fact that I never gave him any happiness in his life, his love for me was unconditional.
I
never tried to hurt him intentionally, but have always done so. I
am a very bad person and because of me he lost everything in his life. From
the very beginning I was always
concerned about the people in my surroundings,
used to think that if I did something they would
be
blaming my parents for it. I have never given any happiness to my
parents so
I did not want
to become
a reason for pain for
them.
I am guilty and can never forgive
myself as I have become a cause of pain in your life. I am sorry for
disappointing you all
the time.
Thank you for coming into my life
and making me feel special.
Thank you